George Vernadakis

Stop Moving My Cheese

No question about it: Video-on-demand continues to be very much in demand heading into 2007.

MAGNA Global Research predicts that 90% of all cable subscribers will be able to get VOD services by 2010. That’s a mere 10% less than the sum total of people who know that Michael Richards has some serious anger-management issues.

But what’s their POV on VOD? According to a Leichtman Research Group report, “On-Demand TV 2006: A Nationwide Study on VOD and DVRs,” consumer reviews are unequivocally equivocal. Less than half (45%) of respondents strongly agreed that VOD has a good variety of programs; 46% somewhat agreed and 9% disagreed. Not so much a rousing hurrah as a deafening hem-haw.

Part of the problem is making sure that there’s enough fresh content being refreshed regularly enough to keep eyeballs from glazing over or, worse, looking elsewhere. Cost and capacity are the key caps on how much fresh-and-refresh is possible right now.

No doubt more server capacity -- and, therefore, more content -- is on the way. But the growing challenge will be organizing that content in a way that viewers can find what they want when they want it.

Already, VOD isn’t doing a very good job of guiding cable subscribers through its increasingly labyrinthine maze. Imagine if Spencer Johnson’s best-selling parable Who Moved My Cheese? centered on mice and mini-men trying to find something to watch on-demand; their little heads would be banging against countless menus and sub-menus just trying to find a decent show on Gouda.

You need look no further than the dynamic duo of HBO and Showtime On Demand, which seem to offer relatively straightforward navigation, organized primarily by original series and movies.

But it’s enough to give a U2 fan vertigo to think that an HBO interview with the band’s Bono and the Edge is in bed with the Best of Pornucopia in the “Late Night” section under “Specials.”

And fans of Showtime’s Dexter -- you know who you are, I don’t -- who follow the first season’s bloodline in the “Horror” section wouldn’t even know that they could’ve caught extras such as sex therapist (and star of Showtime’s Sexual Healing) Laura Berman addressing serial killer Dexter’s problem with intimacy (who knew?) if they’d just searched under “Series.” Oh, the horror ... the horror!

That’s nothing compared to what trauma the VOD maze can inflict on our young. In this couch potato’s household, my two young fries had barely recovered from the fact that Tom and Jerry had their very own spot in the Boomerang section of Time Warner Cable’s Kids on Demand before the animated cat-and-mouse duo was seemingly erased from our VOD canvas. When T&J resurfaced, it was under the new catch-all umbrella “Top Shows,” where one measly installment was mousetrapped between the likes of Fred Flintstone’s yabba-dabba-doo and Scooby Doo. And don’t even get me started on why Pokemon shouldn’t be in there.

At the risk of sounding like I’m now hemming and hawing: I think VOD is great. Besides, regardless of what I think, it’s here to stay. Our kids and their kids aren’t going to grow up waiting for their favorite show to come on at some network-designated time. They’re going to summon it, on-demand, at their command. But if VOD is going to really deliver on its on-demand promise, it has to make sure that consumers can find that show on Gouda without too much sniffing and scurrying.

Just take it from a parent who knows what it’s like telling his kids that their favorite on-demand show just disappeared: There’s going to be a stink if people say “cheese” and it’s not there.

Posted by George Vernadakis on November 29, 2006 | Comments (0)